And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
