all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
