that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
