He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
