It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
