Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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