I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
