Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
