I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
