He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize