just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
