there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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