My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if i died would you start the facebook group?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
