I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
