Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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