I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
