ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
