I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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