I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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