You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
