quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
