shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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