I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
