there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
