So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
