It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
