Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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