Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can text with my tongue
I think I am morally bankrupt
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
