I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
