Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
