...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
