do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
