my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
