Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
