i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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