Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
