we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
