Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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