I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
