Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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