If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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