am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
