My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
