I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
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