And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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