things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If I die, sorry about rent.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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