did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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