Where is the hickey?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
