Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
