I bet he comes in French.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Of course I have a pirate flag
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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