ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
